excitement & fear

You know that kind of excitement that you can't be sure isn't fear, or fear that may be excitement?

I've reached that point in this journey, not quite to the no return point but definitely in the final days. Where there are still items to be checked off the list & those final details to work out, yet the number of days is quite small on your countdown. When you're saying to yourself, holy shit this is really happening & maybe crying in Wal-Mart when you are buying storage containers (I ain't got no shame in this game). Yet, it's still not really real because you're not on the actual journey.

This is the crossroads where all of those doubts and fears creep in & start to rear their heads. All of the questions that don't have finite answers. The ones everyone has asked. The crossroads where you have to know that feeling deep inside, that faith, that it will absolutely work out and this is exactly what journey you are suppose to be traveling- that it is correct. To know there is no other way you should be going right now.

This is where I am, & if you're there too- about to start a new journey for the new year- revel in those feelings that are spinning around each other. Get goosebumps and squeal. Say your favorite curse word and wonder what exactly you're getting yourself into. Tear up when your best friend hugs you and you know this is one of the last times your arms will wrap around her neck for awhile. Revel in all of it. This part- the unknown- is one of the best parts of your journey. Celebrate it.