In Search of My Climbing Groove

{Just found this post sitting in my drafts from September. I think it's fitting I publish to be able to reflect on how much work has been put in over the fall.}

The past (little over) two years have, in my life, been constant states of upheaval and change. Breaking my arm and having Steele were two huge physical changes for me. No way am I saying those are equal events, I am just acknowledging their impact on my climbing. And in all honesty, fracturing my radial head/surgery has been harder to adapt to than getting back in shape post-delivery. 

Learning how to manage (there is no such thing as balance- let's all just celebrate that or maybe cry. Whichever feels right for you) having a little and climbing has been flipping hard. I'm sure if I had a {relationship} partner to help with the kid wrangling it would be easier (or maybe I would take that for granted), but I don't and that's my reality. I have this overwhelming sense of guilt "making" my climbing partners/friends do it, yet I do want Steele to come with me to be able to grow up in this community and lifestyle I love. This past month we all went climbing and it has gotten much "easier" now that he's older. 

While those two paragraphs may seem completely unrelated, I've been mulling over the draw (pun so not intended) I feel towards climbing and the complete disconnect I feel towards it and my community at this time. Recovering from my fracture (which happened from tripping running to my Jeep the night before a trip to the Red) was hard and I didn't push climbing outside that winter. When I was pregnant, I climbed until I was about seven months along and then I got pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel. (I swear it was way worse than labor.) I started climbing in the gym again around 4 weeks after having Steele. I was slowly getting my groove back with climbing, but late-spring my job all consumes my life. So I'm back to trying to find that groove again. I know it's there. I know I can find it again. I have to. My sanity needs it. 

And because this was such a rambling, non-edited post: